Lessons from women leaders on elevating women in hospitality
By Jill Sharp Tollison & Kristi Mattson
Jill Sharp Tollison and Kristi Mattson are often asked what it’s like to be a woman in the hospitality industry. Their answer has less to do with how far they’ve come than with how much opportunity still lies ahead.
Between the two, Tollison and Mattson have spent decades in hospitality sales and leadership, working with hotel companies, franchisees, ownership and management groups, and procurement organizations. Those relationships have given them a front-row seat to how this industry actually operates, from the property level to national procurement and executive leadership.
They’ve also thought hard, separately and together, about what it takes to help more women rise into leadership, and a few strategies stand out.
Give Women Opportunities Before They Feel Ready
Some of the most important moments in a woman’s career come from being trusted with major accounts and complicated situations before they feel ready. Working with top hotel brands means understanding the customer’s business, brand standards, ownership structure, and what actually matters to their guests.
For Mattson, that lesson came early in her career. She was given responsibility for two large accounts in Orlando before she felt ready, and she remembers being genuinely afraid of letting the customers and her company down. That fear pushed her to prepare more thoroughly and work harder to deliver, and she grew both accounts in the end.
Confidence, she said, often comes after the opportunity, not before it: Her boss saw potential in her that she hadn’t yet seen in herself, and the experience taught her to trust her ability to rise to a challenge before she felt fully ready for it.
The industry needs more leaders who recognize potential in women and are willing to say, “I believe you can handle this,” sometimes before the employee herself believes it.
Sponsor Her Into the Room
Mentorship matters, but sponsorship changes careers. A mentor gives advice. A sponsor says your name when you’re not in the room: “Give her the account. Put her on the project. She’s ready to lead.”
Tollison gave a woman on her team the opportunity to lead a presentation to a lodging distribution company. The woman had deep knowledge of the business and the product, but she had never presented to customers or industry professionals before. Rather than simply having her sit in on the meeting, Tollison asked her to take ownership of it, and the two worked together beforehand on the content, messaging, and delivery so she felt prepared and confident. Tollison reminded her that she’d earned the opportunity to have a voice in the room.
The presentation went well, but the bigger success came afterward. Tollison witnessed a shift in the woman’s confidence and her willingness to speak in front of customers. She grew more comfortable answering questions, presenting ideas, and taking a visible role in meetings. It reinforced a lesson Tollison has learned throughout her career: Developing women in leadership often has less to do with training and more to do with seeing an employee’s potential and giving them the opportunity to demonstrate what they can already do.
Know the Business, Know Your Numbers
In the sales world, no two hospitality customers are exactly alike. Success means adapting to different business models, cost pressures, and program expectations, with real fluency in revenue, margin, contracts, forecasting, and a customer’s economics.
For Mattson, that fluency means knowing both sides of the table. A general sense of a customer’s priorities provides a starting point to deliver value for both sides, turning the conversation from transactional into collaborative.
That preparation paid off in an unexpected moment for Mattson. Standing with several company executives in a casual setting, she was asked without warning about a specific account: Where it stood, what it had closed at the previous year, and where she expected it to land in the current one. She knew the numbers cold and answered with confidence.
The lesson stuck with her: You never know when you’ll be asked to speak to the business, and being prepared is what lets you do it well, whether you’re across the table from a customer or standing next to your CEO.
And when you deliver results, own them. Say it plainly: I grew that business. I solved that problem. I led that initiative. That isn’t arrogance. That’s knowing your value.
Build Relationships Before You Need Them
Hospitality is a relationship business. People move between hotel companies. Someone you meet at an industry event today may be sitting across the table from you on a major decision years from now.
Tollison has watched that play out on one of her own accounts. Years ago, she worked with a woman in procurement at a vacation club in Florida. When that contact later moved into a role with a major national brand, the long-standing relationship helped open the door for Tollison to expand the relationship, one that today generates roughly $5 million in annual revenue.
Relationships, Mattson said, are one of the most valuable assets you build over a career. People remember how you treated them and whether they could trust you, and those connections have a way of resurfacing years later in ways you couldn’t have predicted.
Return the call. Keep your promises. Follow through. Be present when there’s a problem, not just when there’s a sale to be made. Over a long career, those individual moments become your reputation, and your reputation enters the room before you do.
Get Comfortable With Difficult Conversations
Negotiating price increases, defending the value of a program, coaching someone through a performance issue: None of that gets easier with seniority, but it does get easier to handle fairly and directly.
For Mattson, the most difficult conversations to navigate were talking to customers about price increases. Early in her career, she dreaded them. What changed wasn’t the conversation itself but how she approached it, prepared with data and concrete examples of the value delivered, the problems solved, and the partnership built over time. Her mindset shifted, too. What once felt like a conversation she had to get through now feels like an opportunity to reinforce trust and make the case for why she’s the right partner.
Women shouldn’t feel they have to choose between being strong and being compassionate. You can care deeply about people and still hold high expectations. You can protect a relationship and still negotiate firmly. You can be collaborative and still say no.
Take Your Seat, Then Reach Back
When Tollison and Mattson started in this industry, there were fewer women at many of the decision-making tables in hospitality. That’s changed, but having a seat still isn’t the finish line. Once there, use your voice – challenge the assumption, know your facts, and don’t apologize for having an informed opinion.
Across her career journey, Mattson has built relationships with women in the industry; had men encourage her, challenge her, and push her to keep growing; and leaned on mentors and advocates who helped her recognize opportunities and believe in herself.
Her advice to a woman just starting out in hospitality: Own your voice, because it matters. Ask the questions. Share your ideas. Don’t be afraid to take on more responsibility before you feel completely ready.
Growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone, and sometimes the opportunity that feels most intimidating is the one that changes your career.
And at some point, success becomes less about what you personally achieve and more about what you do with everything you’ve learned. Reach back. Sponsor someone. Make the introduction. Recommend her for the account. Encourage her to apply for the promotion. Give her honest feedback and celebrate her when she succeeds.
Because leadership isn’t measured only by how far you climb, but by how many people you’ve helped along the way.
Jill Sharp Tollison and Kristi Mattson are regional sales managers at Tempur Sealy Hospitality, a Bronze Industry Partner, where they work with hotel companies, franchisees, and ownership groups across the country, bringing decades of combined experience in hospitality sales and leadership.
Image: Natalia/stock.adobe.com
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